boobs

  I guess everyone was invited to The Costume Gala at the Met.  Beyonce showed up looking as exciting and riveting as processed cheese.   Seriously she’s gotta hold it back, I am overwhelmed with joy and a slight brain haemorrhage. Oh my God, I’m Bai ling. [video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wf25z1kxxkA]

  The Jolie-Pitts were hanging out with U2’s The Edge in France this weekend!  There’s a sentence I never thought I’d write.  I’m not sure what they were all doing by the beach, saving whales? Cleaning rocks? Or from the looks of Angie’s dress, smoking a big joint before offering a religious dance to the goddess of Tick Tac Toe?    Seriously I know she has gone all ethnic on us now, but MAN ALIVE.  That dress is hot.  Zarah’s face says it all.  Brad and Angelina amaze me.  They are the one couple who can get away with all this crap and remain tapable.  Like even now that dress is growing on me.  In fact, I want that dress.  Throw in three midgets on tricycles and a couple of cans of whip cream and I got myself a Friday night.  

  Heidi Montag has a new fashion line coming out next month.  Okay before anyone shoots me, the clothes ain’t that bad! And they are cheap.  However I will not purchase them for many reasons, and one being the name of  her line: Heidiwood.  I can’t even say that without wanting to say something totally inappropriate.   The best part of all this? She is looking for look alikes to model her line.  The even BETTER part of all this, there is a contest for it.  Check it out: http://www.anchorblue.com/heidilookalikecontest/.  And check out the line here : http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/gallery/heidi-wood/ What is wrong with this world?  Why would anyone want to look like Heidi?  I’ll make this easier and faster and save everyone both time and money.  Judging by her face, I’m thinking left over inventory of My Little Pony toys.  That or scout at your local plastic surgeon’s clinic! Nothing says model stardom like low self esteem and daddys credit card! But Heidi isn’t the only one set out to annoy me and you, oh no Spencer Pratt is hard at work.....he has an advice column.  It’s fittingly called “Yo Spencer” and it’s hosted by Radar Online, God bless them. And yes he gives advice.  Here is a sample (thesuperficial.com) YO SPENCER! How do you deal with weak people and haters? With weak people, you can only try to give them confidence and pump them up. To be honest, you don't need them around you. I try to put myself around really strong people. Haters you should love. Hatred stems from jealousy at some point. If people aren't hating on you, they don't care, and if they don't care, that means you're not doing anything right. I love my haters. I don't hate them back at all. You can turn so many haters around once they meet you. I'm like, "Thanks, I get it, I'm an idiot," and they're like, "Woo! He's an idiot! He's so cool!" I flipped a couple haters at Benihana just last night. Wow.  Spoken like Buddha.  It’s like poetry to my ears.  According to his logic I should allow others to hate me.  From now on I’m going to kick everyone I meet in the groin and when they say “What the hell is your problem?” I’m just going to say “Don’t be jealous haters!”  Everyone wins! Thank you Spencer!