Flinging Hump Day: An Oompa-Loompa & Douche Affair

  Welcome to our new Wednesday segment: Flinging Hump Day!  The segment where I , Miss Fling, can ponder and unravel relationship wonders.  Our first letter comes from Midgetlover   Dear Miss fling, After stumbling upon the above photo of Paris Hilton and Benji Madden on a date last night at Chateau Marmont, I asked myself : can an Oompa loompa co-exsit in a happy relationship with a douche?   Well, can they?? Yours, Midgetlover   Midgetlover, I too have pondered that question.  Even though this is an odd pairing, an orange skinned Oompa Loopma has much in common with a douche.  They are both small, both can excrete fluid, and they can fit into many holes.  They are both unpleasant and have an awkward presence. Due to the gender ambiguity of an Oompa Loompa, the functions of a douche, and the various forms a douche may occupy, it is safe to assume that they can comfortably adjust.  Though they are fitted for one another, their relationship is short lived.  A douche will constantly rid an Oompa Loompa of its bacterial culture through pressure.  However an Oompa Loompa is consistently exposed to oral bacteria caused by the its devoted service to The Willy.  An Oompa Loompa will therefore  eventually outgrow a douche and its limited services. Sincerely, Miss Fling Submit your question to : celebrityfling@hotmail.com