Somewhere in the world, Big Bird barfed.

  Is it just me or did Beyonce look smaller than usual at the BMG After party? I’m sure her team is going to be throwing words like “healthy diet” or “Pilates” around, but this is Hollywood so I’m going to assume two things. 1. lipo and 2. Bulimia. This assumption is for her benefit. Look, I’m doing you a favor Beyonce. Weeks from now you’ll have to be rushed to the hospital under claims of “exhaustion” and no one will buy that story, adding more stress onto your already useless existence, which will lead you down a path of substance abuse and alcohol binges. This will taint your reputation and your family’s name causing them to force you into rehab which will either boost your record sales or damage your ego trip. The best thing to do is just to admit the cause of your sudden skinniness and to let us publicly judge you and tear your dreams and hopes to shreds right there for the world to see. My therapist calls this type of anger “displacement anger”. God I hate the color yellow.